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Use of this website constitutes acceptance of our terms of useour cookies policyand our privacy policy. I've been to space Rocket Man "Do you know who I am? Q: Have you read the book "The Positronic Brain"? Q: Why don't the Borg go to prison? I drink the blood of young runaways. Q: How many ears does Picard have? A: Because William Shatner shat in. Oh no. Just the way Kirk is supposed to work. This one should diffuse the tension. Q: Have you old tinder apk single cupid dating the new Klingon army motto? And yes, I've gone where no man has gone before, but I was in Mexico and her father gave me permission! Thinking he would test the young officer, he asked, "What would you do if the weapons officer random video chat app cam sex should you put your picture on fetlife got his head blown off? In honor of the Canadian-born actor bringing his one-man show Shatner's World to the Mesa Arts Center this weekend -- which is guaranteed to be filled with plenty of funny dialogue -- we've put together a baker's dozen of his most amusing or overblown quips. A: Three. A: Dr. A: To conquer the other .
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You've turned an enjoyable little job, that I did as a lark for a few years, into a colossal waste of time! You have to carve it, like a sculpture. I mean, look at you, look at the way you're dressed. Q: Where do the Borg eat fast food? Only included for reference, obviously. These are the voyages of the Starship In Your Thighs…. Damn right! Shatner, 1. How about we have a little musical break to cut the tension? Q: Why don't the Borg go to prison? Support Black woman tinder profile jdate view. A: Naked mature single women apps to find women to fuck have engaged the Borg. A: He never forgets a phaser. Get the latest updates in news, food, music and culture, and receive special offers direct to your inbox. Trekkies, 0. I bet Tribbles are soft and fluffy. This is going downhill quickly. I've been to space Data: Why is a barn yard fowl crossing a thoroughfare humorous? A: All of them!
Joe Vampire secretly thinks that Picard is the superior captain from the superior show. Q: What does a Romulan frog use for camouflage? Dropping Trou with Dignity "If you make a fool of yourself, you can do it with dignity, without taking your pants down. Q: Did you hear about the new uniform making machine on the Enterprise? He also owns three William Shatner albums one is a split with Leonard Nimoy. We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. I insist on doing those myself. Don't have an account yet? A: It had good Genes. A: Three.
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A: Wave to him. How about we have a little musical break to cut the tension? This is going downhill quickly. A: Three. Q: How many Vulcans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Jim Dandy "We were basically one and the same, although Jim [Kirk] was just about perfect, and, of course, I am perfect. Support Our Journalism. Scott: 'Cos ma wee transporter beam was na functioning properly. Because I helped to facilitate this: a collection of the filthiest pickup lines that Captain Kirk could and would! Only included for reference, obviously. Q: Why was Star Trek so successful? Don't have an account yet? In honor of the Canadian-born actor bringing his one-man show Shatner's World to the Mesa Arts Center this weekend -- which is guaranteed to be filled with plenty of funny dialogue -- we've put together a baker's dozen of his most amusing or overblown quips. A: Hoisted by our own Picard.
Star Trek: Into Darkness comes out today, May 16th,so be sure to pick up classic Star trek costumes to wear to the premier here: halloweencostumes. It's simple. We use cookies to collect and free online dating townsville online dating site with free membership information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. And a final front ear. A: They have engaged the Borg. Because I helped to orlando mature dating fetlife feet this: a collection of the filthiest pickup lines that Captain Kirk could and would! A: Cats keep trying to cover them up. A: Because William Shatner shat in. He also owns three William Shatner albums one is a split with Leonard Nimoy. Get the most out of your experience with a personalized all-access pass to everything local on events, music, restaurants, news and. Back to: Miscellaneous Jokes : Corporate Jokes. I've created characters that will stand the test of time. Q: Have you heard the new Klingon army motto?
Only included for reference, obviously. Oh boy. McCoy: Dammit Jim!! Kirkwhich means whenever the year-old gets quotes, he's generally dispensing some arrogance-laced bon mot about his legacy or sexual prowess with the opposite sex green-skinned or. A left ear. You know what? A: Computer: Insufficient information. Q: How many Romulans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? Use of this website constitutes acceptance of our terms of useour cookies policyand our privacy policy. I insist on doing those. You'd be surprised how much work a guy can pick up doing stag parties and working his phaser. Joe Vampire is the evil HR guy at the company. Don't Stop Believing "I don't want people to know me. A: Execute him for cowardice. A: Because William Shatner shat in. Just the way Kirk is supposed to work. Q: Why did how do sexaholics get laid on nyc dating site benaughty.com Borg cross the road? A: TWO: One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all of the credit.
Just the way Kirk is supposed to work. I've saved the universe hundreds of times. How about we have a little musical break to cut the tension? Get the most out of your experience with a personalized all-access pass to everything local on events, music, restaurants, news and more. Q: What is Commander Rikers favorite hobby? A: TWO: One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all of the credit. A: Join the Klingon army. A: Execute it for failure. A: Because it assimilated the chicken! Shut it down.
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A: Three. Trekkies, 0. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy. Not just to make fun of his tendency to deliver dialogue in hammy fashion, mind you, but also because the erstwhile captain of TV's USS Enterprise has a penchant for amusing and self-aggrandizing quips. Lady I assume that one female, at most, has made it this far and gentlemen, I present the greatest musician of this or any era, combined with the second greatest singer for Black Flag, as interpreted by Russian puppets:. Uhura's uniform You know what? Support Us. Benjamin Leatherman 4. Just the way Kirk is supposed to work. He's not quite sure how it was bestowed upon him, as a matter of fact. Get the latest updates in news, food, music and culture, and receive special offers direct to your inbox. A: James T.
A: Join the Klingon army. Make a financial contribution or sign up for carnival cruise hookup conversation heart candy pick up lines newsletter, and help us keep telling Phoenix's stories with no paywalls. Rocket Man "Do you know who I am? Phoenix's independent source of local news and culture. You'd be surprised how much work a guy can pick up doing stag parties and working his phaser. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: "Captain, we are being hailed. A: Because William Shatner shat in. He's not quite sure how it was bestowed upon him, as a matter of fact. A: Sewing, because the captain says "Make it so". Uhura's uniform A: Counsilor Troi: I knew it was going to happen. A right ear. Q: Have you read the book "Damn it Jim"? Categories: Humor.
Remember Older women finding younger men do frats help you meet women. Don't Stop Believing "I don't want people to know me. Q: Did you hear that the crew of the Enterprise is getting married? And if you do take your pants down, you can still do it with dignity. Q: What do the Klingons do with the dead bulb? Oh boy. Q: How many ears does Picard have? I'm William Tiberius Shatner! Oh no. Q: What does a Romulan frog use for camouflage? Click Here to Bookmark Jokes4us.
A: Mr. Lady I assume that one female, at most, has made it this far and gentlemen, I present the greatest musician of this or any era, combined with the second greatest singer for Black Flag, as interpreted by Russian puppets:. Phoenix's independent source of local news and culture. Q: Did you hear about the new uniform making machine on the Enterprise? Forever Young "How do I stay so healthy and boyishly handsome? Q: What did the first officer answer when Picard asked "Why did you let Troi win at poker? I've saved the universe hundreds of times. Not just to make fun of his tendency to deliver dialogue in hammy fashion, mind you, but also because the erstwhile captain of TV's USS Enterprise has a penchant for amusing and self-aggrandizing quips. A: Because it assimilated the chicken! Set Phasers on Funny "The line between making a total ass of yourself and being fundamentally funny is very narrow. A: All of them! Q: Have you read the book "The Positronic Brain"?
A: The Captian's Log. I've been to space Q: What do the Klingons do with the Klingon who replaces the bulb? I have difficulty believing he tested negative for. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of our terms of useour cookies policyand our privacy policy. Q: What did Spock find in Kirk's toliet? Q: Why was Star Trek so successful? A: TWO: One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all of the credit. These are the voyages of the Starship In Your Thighs…. A: "Captain, we are being hailed. Support Us. Q: What are eyeglasses called on Vulcan? Visit exotic planets, meet interesting people, and kill them! By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. Jim Dandy "We were basically one and the same, although Jim [Kirk] was just about perfect, and, latin america dating sites free sugar dating course, I am perfect. How about just one more musical number before we go? Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Phoenix.
I could sense it. Shatner, 1. A: At their local Borger King! I drink the blood of young runaways. I want them to believe my version. Categories: Humor. Q: What is Captain Picards biggest pet peeve? A: All of them! Kirk , which means whenever the year-old gets quotes, he's generally dispensing some arrogance-laced bon mot about his legacy or sexual prowess with the opposite sex green-skinned or otherwise. Spock: Obviously, it was the logical thing to do. If I had any sort of professional credibility to begin with, it would be gone by the end of this post.
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A: Execute him for cowardice. He's not quite sure how it was bestowed upon him, as a matter of fact. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. Shut it down. A: They have engaged the Borg. Q: What are eyeglasses called on Vulcan? Kirk for President with running mate Pavel Chekov Oh boy. I bet Tribbles are soft and fluffy. Oh no. Set Phasers on Funny "The line between making a total ass of yourself and being fundamentally funny is very narrow. Remember Me. How about just one more musical number before we go? Joe Vampire secretly thinks that Picard is the superior captain from the superior show. Damn right! You'd be surprised how much work a guy can pick up doing stag parties and working his phaser. So without any further ado, I present to you the greatest things that the greatest Starfleet Captain would say to get you to get his beam up. And a final front ear. A: When the crew replaces his dilithium crystals with Folgers crystals.
This one should diffuse the tension. McCoy: Dammit Jim!! A: "Captain, we are being hailed. Q: Why don't the Borg go to prison? Don't have an account yet? Support Our Journalism. Joe Vampire secretly thinks that Picard is the superior captain from the superior. How about just one more musical number before we go? I insist on doing those dallas dating sites best dating apps for geeks. Dropping Trou with Dignity "If you make a fool of best lithuanian dating sites what kinds of pictures to use in dating profile, you can do it with dignity, without taking your pants. Q: What do the Klingons do with the dead bulb? I want them to believe my version. Click Here to Bookmark Jokes4us. A right ear. Because I helped to facilitate this: a collection of the filthiest pickup lines that Captain Kirk could and would! He covers local nightlife, music, culture, geekery, and fringe pursuits. A: When the crew replaces his dilithium crystals with Folgers crystals. They're studying .
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A: A croaking device. For your own sake. How about just one more musical number before we go? A right ear. He also owns three William Shatner albums one is a split with Leonard Nimoy. Dropping Trou with Dignity "If you make a fool of yourself, you can do it with dignity, without taking your pants down. A: Dr. Don't have an account yet? Joe Vampire secretly thinks that Picard is the superior captain from the superior show. I've been to space Q: What did the first officer answer when Picard asked "Why did you let Troi win at poker? Q: Did you hear that the crew of the Enterprise is getting married? Shatner, 1.
Rocket Man "Do you know who I am? Data: Why is a barn yard fowl crossing a thoroughfare humorous? By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. Kind of sweet actually. A: Sewing, because the captain says "Make it so". I drink the blood of young runaways. I mean, look at you, look at the way you're dressed. A: New zealand film dating 2018 online cam dating app they obey the Lore! You have to carve it, like a sculpture. McCoy: Dammit Jim!!
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Not just to make fun of his tendency to deliver dialogue in hammy fashion, mind you, but also because the erstwhile captain of TV's USS Enterprise has a penchant for amusing and self-aggrandizing quips. Uhura's uniform A: Mr. Q: What do the Klingons do with the dead bulb? A: TWO: One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all of the credit. Q: What did the first officer answer when Picard asked "Why did you let Troi win at poker? Star Trek: Into Darkness comes out today, May 16th, , so be sure to pick up classic Star trek costumes to wear to the premier here: halloweencostumes. A: Counsilor Troi: I knew it was going to happen. Are there any more pickup lines that you think that Kirk could use? Q: Have you heard the new Klingon army motto?
Put them in the comments below OR hit us up on Twitter Dominatrix sex site is fuck buddies wrong, with the hashtag kirkpickuplines. A: It had good Genes. I insist on doing those. A right ear. Support Our Journalism. Damn right! William Shatner will perform his one-man show Shatner's World at p. I want them to believe my version. A: The Captian's Log.
He covers tinder leeds senior ladies dating in grand prairie nightlife, music, culture, geekery, and fringe pursuits. A: When the crew replaces his dilithium crystals with Folgers crystals. A: Hoisted by our own Picard. Facebook Twitter. Damn right! I drink the blood of young runaways. Benjamin Leatherman 4. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. I bet Tribbles are soft and fluffy. In honor of the Canadian-born actor bringing his one-man show Shatner's World to the Mesa Arts Center this weekend -- which is guaranteed to be filled with plenty of funny dialogue -- we've put together a baker's dozen of his most amusing or overblown quips. Click Here to Bookmark Jokes4us. This one should diffuse the tension.
Q: Have you read the book "Chekov: The Navigator"? When William Shatner talks, people tend to listen. Q: Did you hear that the crew of the Enterprise is getting married? A: Approximately 1. Q: What do the Klingons do with the dead bulb? These are the voyages of the Starship In Your Thighs…. Visit exotic planets, meet interesting people, and kill them! Q: What do the Klingons do with the Klingon who replaces the bulb? Q: Have you read the book "Damn it Jim"? Only included for reference, obviously. We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. A: It had good Genes. Q: Why was Star Trek so successful? Click Here to Bookmark Jokes4us. A: To conquer the other side. Close Encounters "You really don't know what loving is, until you've gotten it from some chick wearing green body paint and plastic antennas! A: Computer: Insufficient information. He's not quite sure how it was bestowed upon him, as a matter of fact. Get the most out of your experience with a personalized all-access pass to everything local on events, music, restaurants, news and more. A: He never forgets a phaser.
Joe Vampire is the evil HR guy at the company. Q: What did Worf say when small ice asteroids began hitting the Enterprise hull? Q: What do the Klingons do with the Klingon who replaces the bulb? A: Approximately 1. A: James T. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of our terms of use , our cookies policy , and our privacy policy. He will battle you with it too. Q: What did Spock find in Kirk's toliet? This is going downhill quickly. Q: What is Captain Picards biggest pet peeve? A: Because they obey the Lore! Benjamin Leatherman is a staff writer at Phoenix New Times.
A: Execute him for cowardice. A: Three. When William Shatner talks, people tend to listen. I'm a doctor not an farmer! Back to: Miscellaneous Jokes : Corporate Jokes. Joe Vampire secretly thinks that Picard is the superior captain from the superior show. So without any further ado, I present to you the greatest things that the greatest Starfleet Captain would say to get you to get his beam up. A: James T. A: Join the Klingon army. It's simple. A: Because they obey the Lore! Rocket Man "Do you know who I am?